When the microwave overheats and your bedroom is a disaster...

We have entered a new season in our lives.  We have become part of a movement of faith that is somewhat housed at the Irish Bred Pub in the bar upstairs on Sunday morning.  It's a unique group of individuals all collectively wanting to see Jesus and serve others.  We are still figuring out what this all looks like.

Last night, we invited everyone from the Bred Pub and some other friends to join up at our house for a meal.  Casual, basic fellowship.  Very casual.  Very basic.  We said we would serve lasagna and for everyone to just fill it in from there...or just come and eat.  We did not add chairs or tables to our house.  We did minimal clean up.  I threw a lot of stuff into our room, and closed the door. We ended up with around 30 people.

This is something I am growing into.  Something that is very uncomfortable for me.  Something that God is working on in my spirit and my soul.  I want my house to be perfect.  I want it to be spotless.  I want it to look like a Southern Living spread.  It is none of those things.  But what it is...a place God has blessed us with that needs to be shared...a place where people came and sat on the couch or the floor or the porch and laughed and shared.  Exactly what it is supposed to be!  A place of grace!

This is the email I sent out this morning:

I just wanted to say thanks to all of you that came last night. It was a great night! I hope everyone had a great time...I had a ton of fun!

I wanted to say that what Jack was sharing about being casual and the state of your house not mattering has not come easy for me. My self-worth growing up was definitely in appearances. It was driven into us by the way we were raised. God has had to deal with me over and over on this issue and I've still got work to do. What I do know -deep in my knower- is that I'd rather have a growing deepening relationship with you all- than a perfect house where it is spotless. I'd rather you see and know my mess-the real me than have some fake friendship that has no potential.

So thank you for being friends who don't care that the food was microwaved (at least until it overheated), for being friends who simply love Jesus and love each other in this process.

Excited to bring some more folks into this!!

Amy

Ps the microwave came back on after everyone went home!

I pray we have many, many more times of fellowship in the place of grace!  Come join us!

It's not who you are going to marry or where you are going to college...oh but it is!

I have a saying that I use frequently.  So frequently that at times all I have to say to one of my kids is "you know what?" and they will say "I know Mom,  it's not who I'm going to marry or where I am going to college so just make a choice."  I've used this for as long as I can remember.  "Do you want a ham sandwich or PB & J for lunch?", "What color shirt do you want to wear today?"  You get the picture.

This last week the tables turned on me.  Two years ago, Malone didn't know who we were, literally.  This past week we made our first college visit and it was wonderful.  The campus was beautiful, lots of great tradition, close to people I know and love, and the exact major that he wants.

Absolutely beautiful day for a tour.  Exceptional student tour guide.  Unbelievable food choices on campus.  Can not think of one downfall.

On the long ride home however, reality set in.  It's 5 and half hours away from home.  That's a long way.

So we are praying and seeking the Lord on what His best is, not just what is beautiful, exceptional and unbelievable.  We want God's best...and don't want to settle for less.

We continue to covet your prayers and pray for you!

Don't settle!

Santa, The Tooth Fairy, The Easter Bunny, and love

A while back, T and I started a journal where we can write questions and answers to each other about things that she may want to know but not feel comfortable asking out loud.  It's been such a blessing and encouragement!  Last year she asked about her elves and Santa and the reality of them.  I pulled from several sources for my answer and this is what unfolded....


Dear Townsend,


You've asked some very good questions: “Is my elf really real? Do you move my elf around?" you are basically asking if I am Santa. I know you’ve wanted the answer to these questions for a long time, and I’ve had to give it careful thought to know just what to say.

The answer is no. I am not Santa. There is no one Santa.

I am the person who fills your stockings with presents, though. I also choose and wrap the presents under the tree, the same way my mom did for me, and the same way her mom did for her.

I imagine you will someday do this for your children, and I know you will love seeing them run down the stairs on Christmas morning. You will love seeing them sit under the tree, their small faces lit with Christmas lights.

This won’t make you Santa, though.

Santa is bigger than any person, and his work has gone on longer than any of us have lived. What he does is simple, but it is powerful. He teaches children how to have belief in something they can’t see or touch.

It’s a big job, and it’s an important one. Throughout your life, you will need this capacity to believe: in yourself, in your friends, in your talents and in your family. You’ll also need to believe in things you can’t measure or even hold in your hand. You need this in order to believe in God and that what He says is true. What Jesus did, he did for YOU! You are forgiven, redeemed, and loved.  This is about love, that great power that will light your life from the inside out, even during its darkest, coldest moments.

Santa is a teacher, and I have been his student, and now you know the secret of how he gets down all those chimneys on Christmas Eve: he has help from all the people whose hearts he’s filled with joy.

With full hearts, people like me take turns helping Santa do a job that would otherwise be impossible.

So, no. I am not Santa. Santa represents love and magic and hope and happiness. I’m on his team, and now you are, too.

And yes we help with your elf too because it's important for all those same reasons. Its important for you to be able to believe in something bigger than yourself and to hope. Hope will carry you a long way in this world. It’s important to learn to hope and how to deal with change and disappointment. It’s important to learn how to care for something. The experiences with your elves have helped teach you all of that.

I know your heart and you always want to do for others. Maybe we can think about how we can spread this for other people next year...

I’m so thankful that out of all the mom’s out there, when God was looking for one for you, He chose me. I am very blessed! I love you and I always will.

Tonight, tonight...

Tonight won't be like any other night we have experienced before.  Tonight will be different and yes, I may hold my breath a bit.

Two years ago, tomorrow night our lives changed forever and we would say for good.  You can go back and read on the blog the specifics but basically Malone received a blow to the head that would inflict brain injury and put us on a ride that would rock our world and drive us to our knees.

Tonight, just 730 days later, he will step on the basketball court again, for the first time in an organized competitive league.  He has been playing in PE and in the alumni game at his school twice but this is the first time in a competitive league.

It will also be the first time ever that he and his brother have been on the court together, on the same team.  That part I love!  And so I will cheer "Go Celtics" and pray for a safe game...

8:00 Frank Brown Rec Center - be there!

Desires of our hearts...

Just got done with Malone's senior photo shoot.  Amazing, remarkable and healing are all words I would use to describe the time we spent with Scott and Deb Fillmer out at their farm.  Malone laughed and joked in his dry sense of humor like I haven't seen him do in a long time.  I do believe there has been so much healing and that he is breathing somewhat of a sigh of relief to finally be starting his senior year.  It's like we were in a holding pattern all of last year.  I want to get impatient and I forget that the Lord is always up to something during these times.

I have been praying for a long time for all of our kids not only that God would give them the desires of their heart, but that their hearts would be aligned with His heart for them.  Not gonna lie...the past year and a half have been overwhelmingly difficult,  mostly for Malone but also for those closest to him.  His heart has beaten the beat that matched the dribbling of a basketball for a very long time. Like since he was 5.  He literally for awhile, slept with a basketball in his bed.  He has had dreams of still moving forward with basketball big in the picture.  This is where it becomes hard as his Mom not to dash his dreams but also help him to be realistic...and so I said nothing.  To him.  I just prayed and prayed.

And the other day Malone said two things to me and one of them was "Mom, I just don't have the passion for basketball that I did before.  I don't hate it or anything but it's just not as fun."  Thank you Lord for hearing this mom's cries and doing "more than we can think to ask."  That is huge healing in him because I believe it's a release of a thing that was still having a hold on him.

The other thing he said that ranks about the same on the remarkable scale was "Mom, I like school.  It's not hard like it was last year."  Again, thank you Lord for answered prayers.  I watched Malone Friday run in with the LSA flags on Friday at the pep rally (there are no pictures because I apparently had something in my eyes that was making them water).  More healing as he is happy to be at his school where he is in his 15th year, surrounded by people who love him and are FOR him.  Just like Jesus "If God is FOR us, (and He most definitely is) then who can stand against us."

May the Lord grant me the desires of my heart, but first align them with His heart for me!

How Great Thou Art!

And when I think, that God, His Son not sparing;
Sent Him to die, I scarce can take it in;
That on the Cross, my burden gladly bearing,
He bled and died to take away my sin.
Then sings my soul, My Saviour God, to Thee,
How great Thou art, How great Thou art.
Then sings my soul, My Saviour God, to Thee,
How great Thou art, How great Thou art!


It's been a few months since I've been on here.  I've needed some time to step away and reflect and some time to let some things settle.  God is stirring in me...always stirring.  It seems lately it's a "KitchenAid blender on 10" kind of stirring...other times it's a slow "wooden spoon in the sweet tea" kind.


Almost 22 years ago we had "How Great Thou Art" sung at my dad's funeral.  Funny, I didn't think God was so great that day. (don't gasp...it's ok...God can handle it...He doesn't need my approval)


The words have come to mean so much to me over the years.  


The stirring God has been doing is in my burdened soul. I find myself burdened right now for many things.  I'm burdened for a childhood friend fighting cancer, for my own sweet 10 year old who is battling migraines, for my 14 year old bonus who deals with Chrohn's, for my 15 year old and my bonus 15 year old just being challenged with walking in this world but not of it, for the amazing 18 year old that continues to heal day by day, little by little and amazes us all, and specifically today for a sorority sister whose son was greatly injured in a golf cart accident that took the life of his best friend.  I could go on and on and on...


God spoke in the stirring this morning and all I could remember of the song was "my burden gladly bearing."  To be honest, at that point I couldn't even remember what song it was from.  I had to google it.  But God spoke in the stirring and said to my heart that it wasn't just my sin that he gladly bore on the cross, but the everyday burdens.  The big and the little burdens.  The major and the minor burdens.  He gladly bears them.

For some reason, it made me think about when I come home with a car full of groceries and I yell in the house for everyone to come help.  Some come willingly and gladly.  Some, not so much and need much prompting. (It changes each time who it is and that's not the point.)  The point is this...God gladly bears it ALL.

gladly : acquiescently, ardently, beatifically, blissfully, blithely, cheerfully, cheerily, contentedly,cordially, delightedly, delightfully, ecstatically,enchantedly, enthusiastically, felicitously, freely,gaily, genially, gleefully, gratefully, heartily,jocundly, jovially, joyfully, joyously, lovingly,merrily, paradisiacally, passionately, pleasantly,pleasingly, pleasurably, rapturously, readily,sweetly, warmly, willingly, with good grace, withpleasure, with relish, zealously, zestfully

I love the synonym that says "with good grace" because that's what he does for you and for me...with all our burdens.  I know He will keep stirring me and I hope He never stops.

And so we wait...

"And we watch and we wait and we hope and we pray You will come and make all things new!
And we won't be afraid as we long for the day you will come and make all things new!"

I keep reciting this as I know that God can do all things. I am in a season of...I'm not sure what to call it right now except close to the edge of overwhelmed.

After a conversation with a friend about my blog, I reread last night and this morning about this journey and this jumped off the page at me "God knows how long.  God did not doze off on us.  He did not accidently look away.  He was not texting and not paying attention at the time.  He knew.  As Max Lucado says "He authors all itineraries.  He knows what is best.  No struggle will come your way apart from his purpose, presence, and permission."
Such comforting words in this season...on this journey."

This is still true...I guess I just didn't think it would be this long and with some other other things piled on top. As my sweet cousin reminded me..."God doesn't give us more than we can handle...doesn't mean you want to hold it all."

I am thankful for those who shore me up and continue to pray for us. We will continue to watch and pray. More doctors appointments this week...

Rivalry - a word that packs a huge punch!

Two weeks ago, my kids' school played their rival in basketball at our gym.  It is always an emotionally charged time whenever these two schools meet for any reason whatsoever.  The varsity boys team from our school was ranked number one in the state.  Their team beat our team at the buzzer by 2 points and then their students stormed our court and chanted "We own Lee-Scott" over and over again until finally they left, out a back door. (very wise move by our administration). 

This past Friday night our school was slated to go to their school to play.  The social media chatter had been at an extremely high level.  They tried to trend "weownleescott" on twitter.  Lee-Scott Varsity Boys not only needed to win to get back their number one ranking but they needed to win by at least 3.  They were down by 13 at half-time and it didn't look good.  The two student sections were in opposite corners of the gym and it was loud and there were a lot of back and forth cheers. One of our parents encouraged a foul called by a referee and the aunt of the player the foul was called on told our parent to sit down and close her mouth.  (that's the cleaned up version for the blog).

I'm going to post a picture of our JV cheerleaders watching their cheerleaders perform.  I want to preface this by saying that the JV cheerleaders in this picture that I personally know are outstanding, growing young women.  They are learning how to follow Christ, just like you and me.  They are usually extremely gracious in their observation of other squads and have friends at most of the other schools that they play.  I say all that because I posted this picture at their request on Facebook and some people might have felt the need to criticize them.  

Just after this picture was taken they came over and we showed it to them.  They had no idea they were standing like this watching - staring - at the other squad.

This picture has really made me think yesterday about rivalries.  The definition of a rivalry is

the act of competing as for profit or a prize;

But some synonyms are: competition, competitiveness, vying, opposition, struggle, conflict, contest, contention, duel, antagonism, emulation 

All of this makes me think about what do I compete for? What do I vy for? What do I struggle for? 



And what should I be vying for, stuggling for?  And of course scripture has the answer...


Hebrews 12:2-3
"Keep your eyes on Jesus, who both began and finished this race we're in. Study how he did it. Because he never lost sight of where he was headed—that exhilarating finish in and with God—he could put up with anything along the way: Cross, shame, whatever. And now he's there, in the place of honor, right alongside God. When you find yourselves flagging in your faith, go over that story again, item by item, that long litany of hostility he plowed through. That will shoot adrenaline into your souls!"


Competition is not bad.  But when it gets under our skin and causes us to speak in an unwholesome or negative manner, when it causes us to choose to hate and not love, when our actions are against the competitor and not for the victory...then we allow Satan to use that competition as a tool to turn something that we could give God glory for into something dark and ugly.  


When it all comes down...in light of all eternity...it really won't matter that Lee-Scott won on Friday night 72-66 and gained back their number one ranking.  No one will even remember.  


I don't compete athletically anymore but I'm still very competitive. I'm praying that I will remember this lesson the next time I'm competing for attention or position or to be heard. I'm really trying to "keep my eyes on Jesus..."

Turning 18 and Learning to Sail

All those sayings are true:  "Don't blink!", "Time flies", etc!  Malone turned 18 this week and it is so hard to believe.  I am incredibly proud of the young man he is and is becoming.  We are also a week away from the year anniversary of the accident and our lives (I believe his and mine in particular) will never be the same.  My prayer is that it will always be for the good and that we will continue to see how God has used this incident and time for His good in us and His glory above all.

I came across a saying that says "I'm not afraid of storms, for I'm learning to sail my ship."  I grew up going to Camp Thunderbird on Lake Wylie in South Carolina and one of my favorite activities each summer was sailing.  Even as an 8 year old we got to go with one or two friends on a sailfish by ourselves and sail.  The worst days at sailing were days with no wind.  You really can't do anything on a sailboat with no wind.

This saying sank deep into my heart as I realized that this past year I have learned a lot about sailing my ship.  I've learned to balance the needs of family and my job.  I've learned that I really really need Jesus...every time, all the time.  I've learned that the times of quiet are times to refuel because we will be called on to pour out again. There will be quiet and there will be storms and we learn best how to sail in the storms.  It's when we get to practice what we know to be true.

Some of you have so kindly asked about my blog.  I have been quiet for awhile for several reasons.  Malone is still on a journey.  His life is forever changed and I want to be respectful of where he is and what he is going through.  He is doing really well.  I don't know that I could have handled things as well as he has.  I am so grateful for the community we live and the prayers of the saints that continue to surround us.

I plan to blog more this year...about more than just Malone...

Never Once...

I've been thinking about the word "never". It's a pretty strong word. It's final and forceful and sure.  It's solid and pure in its meaning.  "not ever, at no time, not at all, absolutely not, to no extent or degree"  There it is...strong and solid.  There is not degree of doubt or waver.  It's just never.


In our journey with Malone we are still in a finding out stage and may always be.  There are still a lot of things that are unsure and unstable.  He is not sure about some things...actually quite a few things.  He can explain things to you verbally but has great difficulty putting them on paper.  He can explain a precalculus equation but is challenged to work the problem.  He is pressing on.  He will help coach the JV basketball team and continue his junior year again and his job.


This is not the life we thought it would be.   It was not what we thought was coming on the horizon.  It was not what we dreamed was in the future.


But what I am coming to realize is that on this road we have never been alone.  God never took his eyes off Malone or forgot about him.  This is part of His Jeremiah 29:11 plan for him because "His ways are Higher" than our ways.  And while it doesn't mean that as a Mom my heart doesn't ache and yearn for this to be easier, it does mean that I can rest in knowing than my God is faithful and true.  Always! 


This past Sunday God gave me a gift in a new song at church.  I had never heard it before and in my latest contemplations of the word "never" it was like God reached down and wrapped His arms around me and whispered...this is for you!


"Never Once"

Standing on this mountaintop
Looking just how far we’ve come
Knowing that for every step
You were with us

Kneeling on this battle ground
Seeing just how much You’ve done
Knowing every victory
Was Your power in us

Scars and struggles on the way
But with joy our hearts can say
Yes, our hearts can say

Never once did we ever walk alone
Never once did You leave us on our own
You are faithful, God, You are faithful

Kneeling on this battle ground
Seeing just how much You’ve done
Knowing every victory
Was Your power in us

Scars and struggles on the way
But with joy our hearts can say
Yes, our hearts can say

Never once did we ever walk alone
Never once did You leave us on our own
You are faithful, God, You are faithful
You are faithful, God, You are faithful

Scars and struggles on the way
But with joy our hearts can say
Never once did we ever walk alone
Carried by Your constant grace
Held within Your perfect peace
Never once, no, we never walk alone

Never once did we ever walk alone
Never once did You leave us on our own
You are faithful, God, You are faithful

Every step we are breathing in Your grace
Evermore we’ll be breathing out Your praise
You are faithful, God, You are faithful
You are faithful, God, You are faithful

You are faithful, God, You are faithful
You are faithful, God, You are faithful 






We are still on this journey and are so grateful for God's faithfulness and the joy that each day brings.  We pray God will show us how to rejoice and that there will be continued healing.  Our prayer is also that others will hear our story and know that they are never alone.


We will rest in knowing that God NEVER leaves us, NEVER forsakes us, NEVER lets us walk alone!

A little child shall lead them....

This girl teaches me so much about how to love and how to live...

This was her last year in her school's production of Annie.  She was Molly.  She loves acting and singing and anything that goes along with the Theatre.

This season in her life there are many opportunities.  She tried out for a part in the church Christmas play.  She also got a part in the school Grandparent's day program.  She was going to try out for the school production of "Jungle Book" and when she came home from tryouts the conversation went something like this:

Me:  So how'd it go?
T: Good.  I told Mrs. Oliver I just wanted a little part.
Me:  What?
T:  I told Mrs. Oliver I just wanted a little part.  I mean I might get a big part in the church thing and I can't really do all that well.  And I might not get a part in anything at all.  But you know mom, it's really not about me.  (and here she went on to talk about how good so-and-so did and how she hoped so-and-so got a part)
Me: (In my head:  You told her what? and my flesh screamed "but you're so talented and good."

And then my spirit took over:  Hey Amy whoo hoo....yeah you! Did you even hear your child's heart?  She said "it's not about me"  She's talking about how great other people did and who she hopes gets a part.  Go back to that...encourage that...praise that!

And then my flesh said "but what if she gets nothing? what will that do to her?"

And the spirit I'm sure shook its head and threw up its hands but kept coming "Girrrllllllll....would you listen to yourself?  What if she got everything and it would be too much?  And do you not think God can handle it if she gets nothing?  And what kind of growth experience would it be for her?  Remember how much she grew when she didn't get a part in "Suessical"?

And so she got her part in Jungle Book as a wolf and as Hark in the Christmas program.  And she is beside herself.  I had the sweetest time with her last night discussing boys, life, growing up, friends, and mostly Jesus and God and the great, great love that He lavishes on us.  She had lots of questions and prayed a lot in my head for the answers God wanted her to have at this time in her life.

I am blessed and thankful!

So many reminders...and yet I have to be reminded again and again

"Day after day our God is reigning
He's never shaken
My hope is in the Lord
Time after time our God is faithful
Trustworthy Savior
My hope is in the Lord"

This past week and a half has been a difficult one emotionally.  Having the privilege to do what I do each day also means having the privilege and honor of knowing people well in some difficult times in their lives.  Not too long goes by that I'm not in the office when we divulge to a woman that her life will be forever marked by that day.   It will be a defining moment for her.  The first time she hears "it's breast cancer".

What I will assure you is that I work for two of the most compassionate medical professionals that I have ever met and they do this life changing appointment with so much grace and dignity that it is a thing of beauty if that is possible.

There are also days that people come to our office and hear that their only hope for more quantity of life and quality of life is amputation.  And again, this is handled beautifully by not only our physicians but the staff.

I wish these scenes were few and far between but as they are not I am thankful that God has given me a soft heart and tear ducts that could sometimes fix the drought in Texas I believe.  And yet, there are so many things that remind me time after time that God is faithful and trustworthy.

I met a lady who buried her daughter and a week later lost her house in the tornados last April and she said to me, "God has been good to us and is watching over us."  That is day after day faith.

I met a lady who is watched out for by her grown son that we have come to love at the office for his cheerfulness and love for his mother.  He died two weeks ago of a massive heart attack and her response was "when God says it's time, it's time."  That is day after day faith.

We have a patient who is an amputee and is always so cheerful and happy to be with us that it brightens our day.  He shines the light of Jesus even from his wheelchair.  That is day after day faith.

I want day after day faith.  Not just "when I think I need it faith."  I want to every day in every circumstance give thanks for what God has done, is doing, and is going to do...no matter what it looks like with earthly eyes.

This morning I arrived at my office to fresh baked pumpkin muffins with a note that said.  "You are loved.  Have a great day!"  I think I know the baker but I was mostly touched that God would send that friend and that reminder my way.

We are all loved. Bought with a price, Blessed, Redeemed!  And that ought to be more than enough for day after day faith.

This is what the Sovereign LORD, the Holy One of Israel, says: “In repentance and rest is your salvation, in quietness and trust is your strength" Isaiah 30:15


I have been quiet since the middle of the summer.  At least on the blog and somewhat in my spirit.  But God has been speaking loud and clear to me and showing me more and more of his faithfulness and love for me and mine. And we are almost 9 months out from the accident so I wanted to give a quick update on Malone.


The above picture Malone took today of himself for an art project for school - self-portrait. He is one amazing young man and has done incredibly well under the circumstances.  It is still so hard to explain and I haven't found anyone yet who isn't amazed by the weirdness, for lack of a better word, of the injury.  He still has long term memory issues and short term ones.  Names are especially hard for him and math.  However, he is soldiering on.   He is working two jobs.  He is cooking at Findley's and learning much from his time there and likes it a lot.  He is also running the sound board at the radio station for his high school's football games.  His career interests are leaning heavy in that direction.  He is finding his way at school and laughingly calls it his "sunior" year.  There are still moments where I watch him stare into space and totally lose focus.  Those moments may always be.  He is seeking God and listening for direction for his life.  Can't ask for much more than that!


So, I am resting and still learning to release. And listening to the Lord and he is changing me from the inside out.  We continue to covet your prayers as we walk through this season of our lives and see what the future holds for each of our 5. Two of them turn 15 this week so that's a definite new chapter!

You'd think I'd learn...

So...Malone has been gifted a trip. It's a gift in so many ways. The past two summers he has had the incredible opportunity to travel to Orphange Emmanuel in Honduras to work. Incredible experiences with beautiful children of God. We have many pictures from both trips. Malone has no memory of either trip.

He will leave next Wednesday to return to Orphanage Emmanuel. He will be gone for 9 days. He's the only one in our family going. It's a gift because the trip was given to him all expenses paid. It's a gift just to get to go. Some people have said, "how wonderful that he might get the other memories back." To be honest, I'm just thankful he gets to make new ones.

His dad called me Monday and said, "we can't find his passport." I said,"I think it's at my house." Guess what? I couldn't find it anywhere. I looked everywhere I could think. And then I fretted. A lot.

I looked up online how to order a quick emergency replacement. Yes. That would be the best solution. Except...Malone was under 16 when he got his so you can't get an emergency one.

So last night I didn't sleep. Not much at all.

And then this morning it hit me. PRAY. So it went something like this: Lord, we know you ordained this trip and that you know he needs his passport. I also know you know where it is. So, care to share?

A few minutes later I felt told to go look under Malone's bedside table. And guess what? There was the passport!

I know God shakes his head in heaven at me a lot. That may be all the thunder lately. I'm sure he chuckles and says "my dear, why didn't you ask sooner? Would have saved you all that trouble and loss of sleep. Bless your heart!"

So maybe, just maybe next time I'll remember to pray sooner! And keep the thunder down...

The Most Important Things...

"The God who commends and cultivates our faith will sometimes lead us into painful places, into unreasonable places, and into places that simply do not make sense. Why? Because real faith has to outweigh our emotional comfort, our human logic, and our passion for understanding. When it does, the Object of our faith has become the most important thing in our lives." {Worship the King by Chris Tiegreen}

The past almost 6 months have not made much sense. Not much sense at all in a lot of ways.  For Malone in particular.  He was on his way to finishing his junior year.  His high school basketball team was headed on a track to a state championship.  He had a date to take the ACT.  We were looking towards college visits this spring and summer.  I was urging him towards prom so a girl would have a nice date. And then January 18 all that changed with a split second that seems still to make no sense, seems extremely unreasonable in the human realm.  Even now when I tell people about it, they look puzzled like I am speaking a foreign language. We now talk about "before the accident" and "since the accident".  It was a defining moment.

And then I read the quote by Chris Tiegreen and breathed a sigh and went "yeah" quietly in my soul.  It was like a gift to my heart.  I'm also listening to a podcast from Granger Community Church by Mark Beeson on "When Your World Falls Apart".  I say listening because I'm on round 3 of the podcast.  I love how sweet God is.  Mark talks about detours in your life and not wasting them.  He says what my heart has cried.  Something to the effect of "you wouldn't have chosen this, but now you wouldn't trade it."

So we are praying not to waste it.  Kinda of like that last drop of slushy that you move the straw around until it's just right so you can slurp it up.  Malone did go to Frontier Ranch in Colorado with Young Life and had an incredible experience.  He came home sure of his decision not to pursue playing varsity basketball.  It was a tough decision but he believes and I do too, the right one.  He has also been blessed with the unbelievable opportunity to return to Orphanage Emmanuel in Honduras at the end of July.  He has been twice before but has no memory of it.

The other great opportunity that has come up is for him to help with the Junior Varsity basketball team at Lee-Scott.  Coach Darden was Malone's coach and now is Simms' and asked Malone to help with practice last week and a camp and has asked if he would like to help during regular season.  One thing I love is that Simms is good with this and likes his brother being there.

Malone and I talked the other day about the challenges that he is still having.  He still has long term memory loss.  Those gaps do not bother him and he usually just shrugs when someone asks him if he remembers something.  The biggest challenge ahead is that he still has some short term memory challenges and when school starts back we will know more about what tactics he will need to combat those.  He knows he will need to work harder than he has before and need to ask his teachers for extra help probably.  Prayers in this area would be greatly appreciated.

We are forever thankful for all that God has done and continues to do.  We know that anything could have happened.  In my field, I am thankful for great healthcare.  I'm thankful for what insurance we have.  I'm thankful for all of you that have prayed and asked about him.  For all of you that have spoken to him and not cared if he recognized you or not. For the love and friendship.  For the most important things...

1/2 is 2/3rds of 3/4ths

I was thinking about what 2/3rds looks like as we come up on the 4 month marker in the healing process from Malone's accident. What if they stopped a football game halfway through the 3rd quarter and called it?  What if you only baked a casserole for 40 of the 60 minutes it required?  What if you only dried clothes 2/3rds of the way?

I have to remind myself at times that we are 2/3rds of the way.  I have to say sometimes "it's ok he's not all the way healed yet, there's still healing to do."  I also have to say "wow! he's not all the way healed yet. That's amazing what he just did!"

Malone will do this week and next week of 2 days of therapy, so now 3 more times and then they will release him to come back as he needs them.  Yep, that's the "r" word.  Release.  We stand amazed at what God has done and continues to do.  He leaves the 27th for a week in Colorado at Frontier Ranch with Young Life.  I had to pray hard as I checked all the boxes on the release form to let him go.  There it is again...the "r" word.

Malone has given up much in this journey but gained even more.  He is a more confident young man and more sure of His relationship with God.  He is more grounded in his faith and more patient than before.  Again, this is not a journey we would have asked for but one I would not give back.  Malone quoted this the other day on his twitter "One day in retrospect the years of struggle will strike you as the most beautiful." Sigmund Freud.  Wisdom in that for and from a 17 year old.  He teaches his Mom a lot.


We still covet your prayers as we continue to learn to release to the One who is able to hold it all and handle it all, as we are not.  There's still at least 1/3rd left and miles to go on this journey. May your day be blessed!

Doing Valiantly

"Through God we will do valiantly."  Psalm 108:13

My longest, best friend sent me a card a few weeks ago and in it she put a copy of her daily devotional from her Billy Graham devotional.  It said this:

   "There are two ways of getting out of a trial.  One is to simply try to get rid of the trial, and be thankful when it is over.  The other is to recognize the trial as a challenge from God to claim a larger blessing than we have ever had.
   Sometimes God removes our trials, and it isn't necessarily wrong to ask Him to do that.  But often the trials remain, and when they do, we should accept them and ask God to teach us from them.
   As Peter Marshall once put it, "God will not permit any troubles to come upon us, unless He has a specific plan by which great blessing can come out of the difficulty."
   It is through the suffering, the tests and trials of life, that we can draw near to God.  A. B. Simpson once heard a man say something he never forgot:  "When God tests you, it is a good time for you to test Him by putting His promises to the proof, and claiming from Him just as much as your trials have rendered necessary."

Malone is doing valiantly through God.  He is making slow and steady progress but like the turtle "slow and steady wins the race."  There are frustrations and still obstacles yet to climb on this journey but it is a journey and he is moving forward.  So extremely much to be thankful for.  I can't help but have the song "My Redeemer is Faithful and True" stuck in my head most days.

I have said it before but need to repeat it often as I stand amazed.  Malone shared with me several weeks back that for about the first five days he didn't know who I was but knew he could trust me because I had been there.  He had to relearn how to say his ABC's and count and so many many things.  But I stand amazed in this:  he did not lose knowledge of salvation or of what Jesus did for him on the cross or of the fact that the God of the universe loves him. Brings tears to my eyes now.  Again, I stand amazed and in awe!

Mother's Day was an awesome day for me and I'm not a big Mother's Day person.  It was big because Malone cooked breakfast for me and his siblings.  Bacon and eggs and omelettes.  As Townsend says when you ask her what he cooked, "only the best bacon in the whole world."  Praise the Lord for bacon!

Blessings...

Blessings

by: Laura Story

We pray for blessings, we pray for peace

Comfort for family, protection while we sleep

We pray for healing, for prosperity

We pray for Your mighty hand to ease our suffering

And all the while, You hear each spoken need

Yet love us way too much to give us lesser things

'Cause What if Your blessings come through raindrops

What if Your healing through tears

And What if a thousand sleepless nights are what it takes to know You're near

What if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise

We pray for wisdom, Your voice to hear

We cry in anger when we can not feel You near

We doubt Your goodness, we doubt Your love

As if every promise from Your Word is not enough

And all the while, You hear each desperate plea

And long that we'd faith to believe

'Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops

What if Your healing comes through tears

And what if a thousand sleepless nights are what it takes to know You're near

And what if trials of this life, are Your mercies in disguise

When friends betray us

When darkness seems to win we know

The pain reminds this heart that this is not, this is not our home

It's not our home

'Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops

What if Your healing comes through tears

What if a thousand sleepless nights are what it takes to know You're near

What if my greatest disappointments or the aching of this life

Is the revealing of a greater thirst this world can't satisfy

And what if trials of this life, the rain, the storms, the hardest nights

Are Your mercies in disguise

8 “For my thoughts are not your thoughts,

neither are your ways my ways,”

declares the LORD.

9 “As the heavens are higher than the earth,

so are my ways higher than your ways

and my thoughts than your thoughts. - Isaiah 55:8-9

Heard this song today for the first time.  Fortunate to work in a place where my boss plays XM the Message all day long so I'm surrounded by great scriptural truth through song all day long.

The words so spoke what my heart has strangely felt.  This journey has been long and really hard and there have been and continue to be many tears.  Just this morning was talking with a friend about what has been lost from an earthly perspective - but what gain! Malone has taught me so much about so much.  He continues to work really hard and even when it appears to be very frustrating for him...he still pushes through.

I have never felt God closer to me or felt more able to allow Him to take control.  We've really had no choice and Malone and I continue to talk about this gift, that no one would want.  This gift that we have been entrusted with that we are called to share.  And while our thankfulness is so inadequate...we will continue to be thankful in the ways we know how.

Just a quick progress update: In my last post I reported he was doing some subtraction in his head.  Yesterday they told me he is doing prealgebra in therapy - and nailing it!  We went and got all his school books yesterday.  I could tell he was glad to be in the building.  His principal said "this place looks better with you here."  He just grinned.

 

Two great quotes...and some scripture.

"You are stewards of Kingdom treasures.  The faith muscle only gets stronger when it's exercised.  Right where you are - is where you need to be.  Where you are is no accident. "  Mike Glenn: Every Moment Counts

"This is not God's plan B" a friend who is extremely wise

"In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world."  John 33:10

We are right where we are supposed to be.  In this process, in this day, in this life.  This was not God's plan B for Malone (I so love this reminder from my new wise friend!)  Sometimes this is so hard to remember.  We all want to live in the "supposed toos".  Malone was supposed too go to prom this past weekend.  He was supposed to be finishing 11th grade.  I was supposed to be in better shape, supposed to have a cleaner house, better paying job, bigger car, nicer clothes, more newsworthy vacation.  Oh really?  Who says?  The world?  How reliable is that?

We are right where we are supposed to be.  I'm so happy to report progress and joy.  Malone is continuing to recover and find new skills along the way.  He's become quite the cook and launderer of his clothes.  He'd rather cook truth be told. 

One great example of his progress is that Katy and I were playing "Words with Friends" and she had played an incredible word and gotten ahead of me.  I asked him to check my phone to see if she had played her next turn.  He said, "don't worry mom, you're only 23 points behind Katy."  I said, "Did you figure that in your head?"  He just grinned and said "yeah"

Eight weeks ago he didn't know any numbers.  Six weeks ago he was relearning to count.  Four weeks ago he was adding on his fingers.  Now he's doing some math in his head.  He is definitely headed in the right direction.

We are 3 months out today from what I have decided is the most challenging thing that has ever happened in our lives.  If I'm really honest, it's also one of the best things as far as my walk with the Lord. 

There are still hills to climb and long trail to go on this journey.  If the experts are right, we are just halfway to recovery.  But THE EXPERT in heaven knows best what we need and how fast it will come.

We are thankful for this Plan A.

While we wait...

Sunday morning I took a notebook to church with me.  One of those empty journal type ones.  I hadn't used it in awhile.  I opened it when I sat down in the worship space and read these notes "Nothing is passive about patiently waiting for desire to turn into delight.  It doesn't mean that you do nothing.  Till faith becomes sight, trust God and do good."  Those notes were from a Beth Moore simulcast in August of 2009.  That long ago, God was teaching me truth that I would need now. Sort of makes you pay more attention doesn't it.  Never know what you will need, but the Lord does.

We went today to Spain Traumatic Brain and Injury Rehabilitation Center at UAB.  Funny though...we didn't have to wait much.  They had originally said it would be late July before we could get an appointment with Dr. Brunner.  They didn't know how many of you are praying.  They called Friday and said we had an appointment today at 1 pm.  We walked in, signed in and never got to sit down in the waiting room.  Dr. Brunner and his staff were very thorough and explained a lot of things.  They explained mostly about cell swelling and how it can take up to 6 months for the cell swelling to go away.  Dr. Brunner was very positive about Malone's progress, his plan for therapy and taking him off of all medications.

And so we wait.  Wait for more cell swelling to reduce.  Wait for more healing to take place.  Wait for more memories to return and more skills and abilities to be regained - and they are everyday.

But we are not passive.  Malone starts his 5 day a week therapy tomorrow.  So thankful for the staff at RehabWorks and their willingness to try new things and want his recovery as much as we do.  He so loves all of them.  So thankful that their office and mine are adjacent to each other so that he can come right down to my office when he is done or even to eat lunch with me sometimes when he has an hour break between therapies.

And we continue to pray and give God the glory for every little memory regained, every process relearned, every day.  It's all a gift and we are blessed.