Scattered words and empty thoughts
seem to pour from my heart
I've never felt so torn before
seems I don't know where to start
but it's now that I feel Your grace falls like rain
from every fingertip, washing away my pain
I still believe in Your faithfulness
I still believe in Your truth
I still believe in Your holy word
even when I don't see, I still believe
I know I haven't updated in what feels like forever. Spring break came and went and we all needed a bit of a break from some things. But rehab doesn't stop, nor should it. We have found and continue to find areas of growth and healing and areas of challenge and need. There are also some interesting personality changes. None of them bad which is a blessing! Praise God!
Malone decided he wanted a fishing pole. He's never had an interest before...ever. So we set out on a trip to make that purchase and it was in that quest that I saw what had been explained to me earlier in the week about his processing challenges. He had two gift cards and had trouble figuring out that he needed to add the two amounts together to know how much he had to spend. He then counted on his fingers to get to the sum of $40. As I mom, I have to admit that watching my 17 year old in the middle of Dick's Sporting Goods go through this I became quite tearful but then I was reminded that just 3 weeks ago...he couldn't even count.
We have much to be thankful for. His team at RehabWorks in Opelika is phenomenal and their goal is to work with him as much as they can and move him forward as fast as possible. To that end he will start having rehab 5 days a week next week for 3 hours a day and 2 of those days for 4 hours at least.
We are definitely praying for a full recovery and believe that God can do that. We know that God loves him more than we ever could even though that is hard to fathom.
It is very hard to understand because if you spend time with him, as his friends who have would tell you, he's the same old Malone. He has pushed through some tough days and we know there are more to come. It's hard as his mom to watch. Hard to know when to push him more and when to let him be. I'm praying for wisdom in that area.
I see God using this in a lot of ways...teaching me...to rely on him and run to him first and foremost. He is big enough for all of this and more.