Starting back in November, Simms (13) began to pass out...you know the "normal" "hey, I'm gonna pass out" and then he'd be out for 30-45 seconds and then back to normal in about 5 minutes after he came to. It happened about 17 times between the middle of November and the end of December. I diligently recorded every episode including where he was, what he was doing, and what time it was. There was no pattern- at all. So we pressed with the pediatrician who called the cardiologist who did a cath 2 years ago and he didn't feel that it was heart related and so we got what we felt like was nowhere. Anyway...after a long time and some help from a physician friend we headed down the "this might be seizures" road and went to Birmingham to have an EEG. It was normal. The next week during an episode, Simms' wonderful math teacher put him on the floor and put his feet up and he didn't go all the way out, thus giving us another clue that he could interrupt the episodes. Now we were on the road back to the cardiologist. We saw him two Fridays ago and he was fabulous....Neurocardiogenic Syncope is the diagnosis. Basically Simms brain is sending signals to his heart rate and blood pressure that make him crash. Right now we are trying to keep him very hydrated and increase his dietary salt so that he will retain the fluid. The theory is that even though the signal will still come, when his blood pressure drops the vessels will not be able to constrict all the way because they will be well hydrated. So far he has still had a couple of episodes but they said to give it a couple of weeks. I'm a bit concerned about his weight since he's full of water all the time. They will work with us to adjust what needs adjusting.
In the middle of all this I found a lump. In my right armpit. It didn't hurt. I just watched it for about 4 weeks. I was hoping it would go away. I was also wearing my mom hat and the hat was really big at the time. It was all I could wear and all I could carry. Last Monday I saw my internist. He said he wished it hurt. He said I needed to see a surgeon. It scared me a lot. I knew God was not surprised. I know God has a plan for everything...even little ol' me. But it was still scary. I saw the surgeon on Thursday and he was less concerned but wanted an ultrasound to see what we were dealing with. He said he wouldn't be concerned. I felt better but still wanted to know. I had an ultrasound on Friday where they drew on me with a sharpie and circled the lump. They couldn't get it to show on the ultrasound at all. It's like it isn't there. You can see it and feel it but it's like it's not there...Still processing this for spiritual object lesson.
The lesson I do have now is that God loves me...not more than He did before but just the same. Always has and always will. He is constant. My Redeemer is faithful and true and steady and constant. In the midst of medical issues and great unknowns. He is faithful and true. When we don't have answers. He is faithful and true. When we can't "see". He is faithful and true. When we are scared...and it's ok to be. He is faithful and true. When we are unfaithful and untrustworthy. He is faithful and true.
On this Wild Glorious Ride...He is faithful and true.