Tuesday, February 15, 2011

Eyes to see into Jars of Clay

2 Corinthians 4:7

But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us.

It's what we all are - jars of clay. Not fancy china or crystal vases but jars, full of the treasure of what God has written in each of us. I am trying so hard to be patient as I wait on the Lord to heal my child.  I thought I was a patient person.  I am patient with children and older people.  I'm patient with brownies in the oven and waiting in line or for a table at a restaurant.  I'm even patient in traffic.  The problem with this is that my child is a jar of clay and clay isn't see through so I really can't see what is going on in there.  I can't tell what the trouble is or the time line for healing.  Moms are supposed to know these things.  Supposed to be able to fix it for their kids. This is one of those things that I can't fix or make better.

We went to start rehab today at RehabWorks.  They are all so amazingly supportive and loving and knowledgeable.  Lucy is Malone's OT and Carol is his Speech Therapist.  They did some testing and what was immediately apparent to me is that this is bigger than I thought.  There are things he is missing like how many months in a year and how many days in a week.  He was having trouble with "does it take longer to put on a hat or tie your shoes?"  Several friends have texted since we got back and asked how it went and I had to be honest and say "overwhelming".  They will work with him 3 times a week and are going to add in precious Tina due to his dizziness. What Theresa explained to me is that brain injuries are so misunderstood because there is no diagnostic test (x-ray) that can show all the damage sometimes.  We feel wonderful about the care and plan that will happen because of RehabWorks but I think it just really really smacked me in the face today with the reality of all this.

I am holding here:  God is great!  He loves Malone more than I can (even though in my humanness I can not truly get my mind around that fact).  and this...
"There is love that came for us
Humbled to a sinner's cross you broke my shame and sinfulness you rose again victorious
Faithfulness none can deny through the storm and through the fire there is truth that sets me free Jesus Christ who lives in me
You are stronger you are stronger
Sin is broken you have saved me it is written Christ is risen Jesus you are Lord of all
No beginning and no end You're my hope and my defense you came to seek and save the lost you paid it all upon the cross
So let your name be lifted higher
Be lifted higher be lifted higher"

Jesus is stronger than all of this...I am not.  I will fix my eyes like flint on Him...even when I don't feel like it for He can see into the jar of clay at the treasure that is there...the treasure that is Malone...


  1. Amy, thanks so much for this! You and Malone have constantly on my mind and in my prayers

  2. Mary is Malone's Speech Therapist. A lot to digest yesterday had my head spinning.

  3. Keep believing and keep the faith. Malone needs your strength right now. God loves you both...you know and believe this but it's so very difficult when it's your child who is hurting. You are God's gift to Malone...the one that must stay positive and strong. Much love to all of you...

  4. Oh man, Amy, I've just traced my way back through your blog. I am heartwrenched for you and for Malone. I am praying for you and aching with you for him. Just think though... now you can "build in" the gaps for him - helping him to "remember" what is important. And, although this is not the way you would have done it, you are getting to spend the most precious time with him. You're right,.. God is good. I love you from afar!!